PERFECTION IS A DELUSION.
IT IS PRETENCE.
BE THE PARADOX!!!
Join The Trudge Movement—A Free Community for People Ready to Stop Performing and start being their real self.
When Looking Okay Starts To Feel Like Living A Lie
You've been so careful about looking "Okay." Why does it still feel this fake?
You've built a life that should feel good. But somewhere along the way, you became a version of yourself that feels… performed.
You're tired in your soul. You’re tired of curating your life like a perfect resource. You’re tired of "I'm fine." Tired of holding it together for everyone else while quietly falling apart inside.
I know that feeling. I lived in that shamble for 41 years.
I was a licensed therapist helping people untangle shame, trauma, and pain…While drowning in my own. Two divorces. Alcohol abuse. Chronic anxiety. One day, I sat frozen at a green light with my 15-year-old daughter beside me and whispered: "I don't know where to go."
She looked at me and said: "I know, Pops. It's okay."
I didn't hear it then. But she wasn't pitying me. She was saying: "I see you. I feel you. And I love this real you." That night, I stopped running. I sat in silence and finally said to myself:
"I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I love you. Okay. Now meet me here."
That was the night I stopped chasing “perfect” and started practicing “real.”
and...
That moment became the foundation of everything
From that silence, I developed four principles that rebuilt MY life from the ground up:
Learn to Listen: I learned to listen to my body, the mind, and the whispers buried beneath years of noise
Meet Me Here: I realized life is about being present with what is, not what was or what might be
Move at the Pace of Guidance: At best, life is progressive when you stop forcing, stop rushing, and surrender to the rhythm
Trust in the Outcome: I have learned to choose hope, even when the path is unclear.
Only A Few Sincere People Will Admit To This
Healing doesn't happen alone
You can read every book, listen to every podcast, and journal until your hand cramps. But Real, lasting, embodied transformation happens in community.
It happens when you stop performing "fine" and let someone see the mess. It happens when you hear someone else's story and realize: I'm not the only one.
It happens when you have a place to show up—not as the polished version of yourself, but as YOU. Tired. Uncertain. Still trying.
This realization made me decide to give the people in this same distress what I wished I had
drum roll!!!
The Trudge Movement: (#BeRealOverPerfect.)
It will start as a challenge. But this is bigger than a challenge. This is a movement.
A collective exhale from everyone who's been holding their breath, waiting to be good enough.
A community of people who've decided that “done” beats “perfect.” That trying beats waiting.
This is not another course, with unrealistic promises. I’m not another guru to follow for inconsistent motivation.
This isn’t another program that promises transformation in 7 days and delivers the exact opposite, but a community where you can:
Share your "one step" without judgment
Be witnessed in your struggle without being fixed
Connect with others who understand what it means to trudge
Access the 4 Trudge Principles and put them into practice—together
RealOverPerfect is the community I wish I had then. And it's here for you now.
Imagine 365 Days Of Choosing To Be Real Over Perfect. No Pretence.
Think about it for a second: What would life feel like when you don’t have to perform "okay" for your coworkers. A life on the other side where you don’t have to curate your life for social media or having to convince yourself that you're “fine” when you're falling apart inside.
Imagine having a place where you could just be yourself without judgement, yet improving.
A place where "I'm struggling" is met with "me too" instead of advice. Where your mess isn't something to hide, but a proof that you're human. Where forward progress isn't measured in miles, but in moments of honesty. A step at a time. A day at a time.
That’s the Trudge Movement
Inside The Trudge Movement, you'll find:
Daily prompts based on the 4 Trudge Principles to guide your journey
A judgment-free space to share your wins, your struggles, your "today I trudged by..." moments
Weekly live sessions with real conversations, real support, real connection
Access to guided practices; breathwork, mindfulness, and reflection exercises from The Trudge Paradox
A community of people who get it, because they're trudging too
This is not about fixing yourself.
You were never broken. You were just burdened.
By stories you didn't write. By agreements you never meant to make. By roles you assumed to survive.
The Trudge Movement is about setting that weight down. Not all at once. Not perfectly.
One step at a time. One breath at a time. One honest moment at a time
Who This Is For
Creators tired of curating a life they're not actually living
Coaches who preach authenticity but struggle to practice it
Founders and solopreneurs who know "fake it till you make it" is burning them out
Anyone in the mental health and wellness space who's ready to lead by example
Early-career professionals who want to grow without the performance anxiety
If you've ever felt like you're one bad day away from being "found out"... This for you.
Who This Is NOT For
People who want to stay comfortable
Anyone looking for a quick fix or overnight transformation
Those who'd rather perform progress than actually make it
TESTIMONIALS
Clients I’ve Helped are saying:
— Jason T.
Ken Caselden is a beautiful soul that see past my masks and acknowledge the person that was trapped inside. He showed me how to work together with the different “personalities” the trauma in my life had created. He approaches each patient as an individual and together with the patient creates a treatment plan that works for that person. With his help I was able to remove all medications for over 5 years now. I still have hard days but now I know they will pass. The skills that Ken taught me are now being applied to dealing with a cancer diagnosis. I passionately believe without him this diagnosis would be much harder to deal with because I would still be in the dark place I was when we met. He is a professional, but he allows himself to be a real person at the same time, and for me that made it easier to let him in
— Catherine R.
Let me start by saying that I am not or have not been a patient of Ken’s. With that being said, my husband is and has been for several years. When we had some major unexpected life changes, my husband started to turn into someone that I barely knew. We made the decision that he would try therapy and someone told me about Ken. Calling and making that appointment was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It took a while, as most things do…but the difference I see in my husband today is like night and day. The man I fell in love with is back and continues to grow every day, all because of Ken. He was in a very dark place and Ken encouraged him, supported him, went above and beyond, and was always there guiding him through every step of this continuing journey. There is SO much more I could say, but I will never be able to express the amount of gratitude that I have for Ken Caselden. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
— Frederick L.
I've been going to see Ken since January of 2017. He has helped me tremendously with dealing with my depression and anxiety. I would hate to think of the state of mind I would be in now if I had not started talking to Ken. Highly recommended.
— Richard K of L.A
I've had an incredible experience with Ken as a therapist. He has consistently read me well, knowing when I needed an understanding ear and knowing when I needed push. His deep knowledge of the profession allows him to shift explanations and analogies when I'm having trouble understanding concepts. He's helped me deeply understand myself - moreso than I even realized could be possible. I'm incredibly proud of where I am, and I wouldn't be here without Ken. Thank you!
You've been waiting to feel ready
The irony of perfection is waiting to feel ready. But the reality is that you will never feel ready.
For what it’s worth… Sometimes the most powerful intervention is not a fancy tool, but a human moment where someone who’s trudging hears, maybe for the first time, “You’re not broken. You’re good. And you’re still becoming.” When you stop living from performance and start living from presence, you don’t lose yourself. You finally meet yourself. That’s the insignia of the trudge work.
Join The Trudge Movement. It's Free.
A community of people who are done pretending, and ready to move forward anyway
What You Must Do Next:
Join our private community
Introduce yourself with one sentence: "Today I'm trudging because..."
Start receiving daily prompts and connect with others on the same path
"Trudging is not suffering. Trudging is moving forward despite suffering. And the moment you stop running and meet yourself where you are—that's when true transformation begins."
You don't have to do this alone
Hit this button if you are ready
P.S. — If you're reading this and something in you is saying "not yet" or "maybe later"... that's the same voice that's kept you stuck. You don't need to be ready. You just need to show up. We'll meet you there.
Blog & Articles
08/18/25 Blog: Next Step Feels Too Far Away
Trudging Paradox:
Personal notes, gritty truths, and gentle reminders along your healing journey from...
KEN CASELDEN
"The Trudge Therapist"
“When The Next Step Feels Too Far Away.”
Finding steadiness when progress feels invisible.
A TRUDGE REFLECTION
Life has a way of convincing us that progress must be visible — that it should be measurable, impressive, and externally validated. We’re taught to believe that if we can’t show results right now, we’re falling behind. But some of the deepest steps in the Trudge are invisible — not because nothing is happening, but because the most important work often happens in places no one can see.
The pause you’re in now might be the soil your future self will thank you for. The stillness that feels uncomfortable today may be nurturing the exact strength you’ll need tomorrow.
In the Trudge, we practice learning to listen — not only to the demands of the mind, but to the whispers of our breath, the cues of our body, and the steady, quiet beat of our own heart. Stillness isn’t a lack of progress; it’s a kind of progress that doesn’t always announce itself.
WHY THIS MATTERS
When the next step feels too far away, the temptation is to force movement — to fill the silence with noise, the stillness with action. But rushing forward without clarity often leads us in circles. The Trudge teaches us that slowing down doesn’t mean giving up; it means giving yourself the chance to hear what your life is actually saying to you.
By anchoring in what you see, hear, and feel right now, you begin to notice the subtle shifts that tell you you’re already moving — even if your feet aren’t.
“Sometimes the next step isn’t about moving forward —
it’s about realizing you’re right here.”
Ken Caselden | “The Trudge Therapist”
SEE. HEAR. FEEL. BE.
What I’m Seeing:
Right now, I’m seeing the day begin to dim into night as it casts shadows that remind me how important it is to remember what I’ve been able to accomplish today…and how I’m, ultimately, “casting a shadow” from the life behind me.
What I’m Hearing:
I've been listening to "Bless Those Tired Eyes" by Clem Leek — a song that wraps its arms around you like a blanket you didn’t know you needed around mark 1:22 into the song. Its slow, steady chords seem to hold space for both weariness and wonder. It’s a song that gives me permission to pause without feeling hurried to move on or pressured to figure everything out. In its melody, I can breathe softer, deeper.
You can listen by clicking the link below:
What I’m Feeling:
I’m feeling the tug-of-war between wanting to show the world that I’m healing and what I’m creating, and trusting it will all come together as I continue building a new life and career. No matter how much work I’ve put into my healing journey as a person that's struggled with overcompensation and codependency, there is always a part of me that worries what others think of me. I feel, in this moment, an invitation to simply pause and thank myself for showing up today…even while in the presence of another part of me screams to do (prove) more.
PRACTICAL TAKEAWAY
Today, ask yourself:
What am I seeing right now that reminds me I’m here, in this moment?
What am I hearing that invites me to honor the space, phase, or season I’m in?
What am I feeling that deserves my attention and compassion?
Then, without forcing an answer, offer yourself this:
It’s okay to be here. I’m deserving of this moment — deserving to take notice of what was, what still is, and what is hoped for. The next step will be revealed when I’m ready… so long as I remain true to the best within me.
UPDATES
The Trudge Paradox book is being edited — more details and pre-order info coming soon.
New guided mindfulness recordings are being produced for the YouTube channel (@thetrudgetherapist) this month.
A beta group for the Gratitude & Manifestation Masterclass will be opening soon — stay tuned.
LET'S CONNECT!
Trudging isn’t just about getting through — it’s about noticing what still exists within you then choosing to see, to hear, to feel, and to be YOU…even when the way forward isn’t clear. It’s about living as the paradox — strong and tender, certain and searching, present and becoming.
If this reflection meets you where you are, I invite you to take the next step with me:
Visit www.thetrudgetherapist.com to sign up for my weekly blog called Trudge Reflections and receive your Trudge Starter Guide.
Subscribe on YouTube (@thetrudgetherapist) for guided practices, reflections, and tools to keep you moving forward with purpose.
Join The Trudge Circle — our free community where we share, support, and grow together.
Wherever you are in your journey, remember: you don't walk it alone.
Trudge on. Be the paradox.
~ Ken "The Trudge Therapist"
